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Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
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9:47 pm
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I think in the last few birthdays I've somewhat shocked that I've made it to another year. I was walking to school and I realized that I'm actually 21 - I almost stopped walking with that weighty realization. I sometimes wonder what the difference really is. It really is just another day, not so different from yesterday. I certainly don't feel 21.
I think what comes to mind is the words I read on one of NPR's This I Belive essays (we had read them for a class): "If I die it is glory. If I live it is grace." And really, I guess that's what I feel - the awesome grace of God to bring me through another year.
So here's my Year in Review:
Spritual:
It's interesting as I do my annual review of the past year. In some ways I feel like a completely different person than I was when I turned twenty. I spent most of my 20th year wandering in a sort of desert - wanting so much for God to renew the joy of my salvation. It felt like I was getting complacent with my faith and yet somehow I never saw that that complacency led me to feel more overwhelmed by the pressures and troubles surrounding my life than I've felt since I was in high school. Did I love God? Yes. Did I desire to serve Him? Yes. But I lacked so much peace in my walk and I know that there were so many times when I fell short of glorifying Him.
But because God is so good, He didn't let me stay there. Over the last few months, He's completely brought me out of the wilderness of the desert into the wilderness of Him. Why wilderness? Because I've learned that the path we walk on when we walk with God isn't a sterile hallway - yes, it is a refuge, but only because His hand makes it so. But I've found that peace often co-habits with storms and suffering, and that joy is even sweeter when coupled with sorrow. It's this paradox that makes the refuge in a storm so real and comforting. It took a year and a half, but God did renew the joy of my salvation - and He did it when I was no longer concerned about myself or my welfare but that of His children in Ethiopia. And what's more, peace doesn't come from satisfying my own needs, but by following God's will for me. It seems so simple, but sometimes, it's really hard to give up the desires of our hearts, especially when they seem like good ones. Yet God continually shows me over and over again, that in my surrender to Him, He sets me free.
What else? Oh yes, the dismantling of my lengthy list of fears. I've been afraid of so many things: heights, clowns, the dark, heavily mustached men (you get the point). But seeing the absolute power and love of God this summer has shown me how ridiculous all these fears are. God commands His children over and over again to be courageous, to not fear, to not be dismayed, and yet so often I've found myself believing that fear is an uncontrollable emotion or instinct - when in reality, it is as simple as mere disobedience. If I really believe that God, who holds my life in His hands, made the world, and raised Himself from the dead, then what reason do I have to fear? And the moment I understood that fear was disobedience and not just a wishy-washy emotion, I was released from them. Man...God is so good.
Physical:
I look pretty much the same - with a bad haircut. I've discovered that I do not go well with bangs and that I should always avoid crazy asian women at any hair salon (sorry, but it's true!). Oh and I've finally reconciled myself with pink!
Social:
I'm finally popular. Not. I keep hoping that if I put this in my review it'll come true. hahaha, only joking. But I really I've met some really truly people this year. My Ethie team, my brothers and sisters in Ethiopia, and really getting to know my cousins better. I guess I'm content
I don't usually make this review public, on account that it's probably boring for anyone who is not me, but what the heck - haha
Anyway, I'll repeat what I said last year: "There by the grace of God I go."
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| Monday, September 4th, 2006
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4:02 pm
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New York, New YorkNew York was great - albeit hugely exhausting, also hugely fun. 
Getting there: We blew a flat driving up, so it ended up being something like a 9 hour drive instead of four.  The rain was torrential and somewhat painful to walk in. We pulled into a town with a Wal-Mart and Pep Boys and IHOP so that we could get the tire fixed. While Brad went to check on the car, Sarah, Christine, and I bought some essentials we had forgotten or never had in the first place, including matching rain-resistant jackets! Here's the shocker: they were black with PINK ::gasp!::  Maybe I have a secret love affair with pink unknown 'til now...hahaha, actually, I really do like the jacket - it makes me happy. See, we had fun even before we got to the city!
Day 1: So, it was raining in the Big Apple too. There are two schools of thought on this: Sarah - NYC is just a rainy city - period; Christine- No way! It's always sunny whenever I come. Well, either way, it was raining.
We pulled up to the Royalton Hotel - which might I add, is several notches above the Holiday Inn...it didn't look like a Hotel from the outside, and nothing like any Hotel I've ever been in from the inside. Very chic.
We didn't get to go to the US Open because it got rained out - but that was okay because it made fora very spontaneous day - strolling through Times Square and 5th Avenue, walking on Broadway, finishing it off with drinks at The View (this huge revolving restaurant/lounge that gives you a, well, view of Manhattan's Skyline). Even though I had something non-alcoholic (of which there was a total of two drinks on the menu that were...) I still got to get it in a souvenir glass
When we got back to our rooms, poor Bradley who had driven was wiped out and so he went to sleep. Christine wanted to get a Cosmopolitan so we went downstairs to the bar - which closed at midnight...unusual for anywhere in NYC. Therefore, we shut down for the night - all three of us cozy in one huge bed with a fluffy down comforter.
Day 2: Woke up around 6:30 so I could get some time to myself, quiet time, draw a bath (they had a HUGE!!!! bathtub - round and about the size of my entire bathroom....best bath of my life), and get some homework done.
wore my ribbon for you today.
Let's see...we had breakfast at Cosi (who knew, DC treats in Manhattan, eh?) Hell's Kitchen flea market wasn't all that great, but the McDonald's that we stopped at to get Bradley some real food was huge and .. how to say .. posh - very weird. We caught the 3:30 service at Brooklyn Tabernacle! It's beautiful, but the chorus wasn't home (being on a missions trip in Bermuda). We watched a video of Louie Giglio and his Alive message - it was actually really good (sort of reminded me of a Frontline message in a way)
We finished off our trip in Central Park. We went to the little playground inside and I FOUND THE SPIDERWEB!!!!!!! It's this red thing that looks like a jungle gym in the shape of a web - made out of ropes. I remember being a little kid and playing on it when I was 4 and lived in Queens. It was amazing. Then "Mommy" bought me and Tiney ice cream on a cone dipped in a cherry shell!
So many of my happiest childhood memories are from my life in NY before we moved down here to VA. I don't like city life, but the memories of Central Park, the ice cream truck, the subway.....
The drive home was long - but good. No flat tire, just smooth sailing. Bradley got tired so I drove a little since I was the only one awake (Dad's rigourous navigator/co-pilot training paid off) - first timeever driving a minivan - not too bad, but not my Rav4 either. Thankfully, Sarah was awake by now and so 40 minutes in she drove the rest of the way back - which meant we all got home faster!! Hooray for Sarah!
Good times, good times. This was pretty much my first trip to NYC where I wasn't with my family (my "other" family, mommy) or with youth group, and just got to have fun without any obligations. I've found the city to be a lot more enjoyable and exciting this way. Haha. I do know that I wouldn't want to live there though. I love the city, I just don't like that it's not relaxed, you always have to watch your back, and you can't walk around at a dreamy luxurious pace and style. There's so much to do, but I don't think I could take that over stimulation and state of distraction over any prolonged period.
Spontaneous trips are the best!
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| Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
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8:08 am - Dell Battery Recall
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Didn't know if you guys would be affected, but if you've had a Dell computer shipped to you between April 2004, and July 18th of this year then you might be. Apparently some of those batteries have a peculiar tendency to overheat and burst into flames. You can get more information with this link:
https://www.dellbatteryprogram.com/Default.aspx
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(comment on this)
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7:38 am
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Just a quick post to let you all know that I'm home safely. TheLord, who is always faithful, truly prepared our way and went before uswherever we went. Never has it been more clear that God is the sametoday as He was when He parted the Red Sea and delivered the Israelites. All for one purpose only - to glorify His holy name.
As I process what the Lord's accomplished these past 10 days, there'll be alot more details. But for now it's enough that I'm home.
current music: How Great Thou Art
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| Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
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5:02 am - LET'S GO ETHIOPIA!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOO
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Today has been absolutely incredible. I think it's really beenconfirmation that I truly am following God's call. And while I knew itbefore, today I konw it witheverything that's in me. There's been the usual excitement before along-anticipated trip, that punchy/chipper/awake-ness that precedessnowboarding adventures and other such enjoyments, but there's alsothis absolute joy.
The joy of not knowing what to expect andso, by necessity, completely trusting Him and surrendering my will toHis (which is, by far, the better option). The joy of responding toHis call and knowing that He equips those whom He calls. The joy ofknowing that by being obedient to Him, he will use me, unworthy as Iam, to reach His children.so that they might know Him better. Also -(and no less) - knowing that I'll be meeting my brothers and sisterswho are part of the same body on the other side of the world.
I'm really stoked about getting to spend the next week and a half serving with my team -there might be a few feathers ruffled here and there, but we knowwithout a doubt that we are a family- unified in our love for Christ and our passion for reaching thelost. Also, we're apparently "the group that's loud" - hahahaha.
Thesupport around me has been tremendous. From various students in theyouth group making sure they sent me off with a hug/card/..pinch(haha), prayer, friends who insisted on lunch or dinner (and icecream), Kathy who brought me a whole load of stuff I needed (includingher iPod nano and lots of cool notes), my cousins who got on MSN to sayhallo and goodbye, my godsister who reminded me that I should rememberto come home in one piece...just...you all blow me away - thank you.
I'm pretty sure that I should probably get serious about my packing in a minute or so - Go Time in less than one hour!! YEAH BABY!!
WOOooOOooHooOOOOooOO!!!! See ya on the flip side!
current mood:  jubilant
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| Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
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9:27 pm
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Florida was awesome, surfing was awesome, family was even awesome. hahaha
I have now hopped on the xanga bandwagon..although I maintain that it's not peer pressure if it's family hahahaah
http://xanga.com/MakeAJoyfulNOIISE
now for alpine!
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| Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
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10:16 pm - ......
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You're at your very stupidest when you're drunk. So if you're already an idiot, the tip would be don't get drunk.
current mood:  highly irritated.
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| Thursday, June 1st, 2006
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12:17 am
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 | You scored as The Amazing Spider-Man. After being bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker was transformed from a nerdy high school student into New York's greatest hero. Peter enjoys the thrill of being a super hero, but he struggles with the burdens of leading a double life. He hopes someday to win the heart of his true love Mary Jane, the woman he's loved since before he even liked girls. Right now, he just wants to make it through college and pay his bills. |
Neo, the "One" | | 63% | The Amazing Spider-Man | | 63% | James Bond, Agent 007 | | 58% | Lara Croft | | 58% | Batman, the Dark Knight | | 58% | The Terminator | | 50% | William Wallace | | 46% | Captain Jack Sparrow | | 42% | Maximus | | 42% | El Zorro | | 38% | Indiana Jones | | 38% | </td>
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com</table>
current mood:  very tired
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| Monday, March 6th, 2006
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1:41 am
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Lessons learned:
-Really good praise brings forth an amazing release
-My first impressions - surprise surprise - can occasionally be wrong
-Don't leave my hat unattended
-Expect the Unexpected
-Silver Diner does not equal good food
-Insecurity is really hard.
So all in all, an educational night. For the most part, a really good night and much needed.
current mood:  hmm
current music: How Great Thou Art/How Great is Our God
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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2:17 am
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I find it difficult to hold on to my sanity. Fortunately I know who holds me when I'm forced to let go.
current mood:  content?
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, January 13th, 2006
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1:14 am
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Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough
current mood:  angry/hurt/donno..
current music: Switchfoot
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
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10:47 am - SNOWBOARDING!!!!!
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So....went back to the slopes for the first time since I tore my ACL. (Read: 1st time in TWO years!!!)
Oh man it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sweet!!!!!! Kathy we ROCKED.
I'm so sore........but that's because skiiers got in the way and tried to run me over....so it's not my fault! haha :-D
Let's go again Let's go again Let's go again!!!
...not today tho. hahaah
current mood: STOKED
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| Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
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3:27 pm
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My life is so weird...
So..every four years: We've had four birds. Bobby, Molly, Ariel, and Eric.
When I was...
Four: Molly died.
Eight: Bobby died.
Twelve: Ariel (or Eric..could never tell the difference) died.
Sixteen: Eric (or Ariel) died.
Four years later (now that I'm twenty), I'm birdless. I figured, well no bird's gonna die this year!!
Yesterday: A bird flew into my head. (YES A BIRD FLEW INTO MY HEAD) Although I put it in my hat to keep it warm...it died.
...i can't believe a bird flew into my head.........
it was a pretty little bird too!
current mood:  crazy
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| Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
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9:37 pm
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Let it snow let it snow let it snow!!
Gotta get my bindings on my board.........................
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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2:24 pm - .....?????
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So..I got meds for these migraines I've been having..100 mg Imitrex. Side effects so far:
-Tightness/heaviness around Chest area for at least half an hour after taking
-Chest pain
-Nausea
-Off and on Dizziness
-Fatigue
-Headache. (Yah....how headache is a side-effect of anti-migraine meds....)
...this, to me, does not qualify as an improvement.
current mood:  not pleased
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| Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
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12:33 am - what was I thinking 18 credits...and it's not like you all didn't warn me about it either....
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...................................................................................i just can't keep track of everything...............................................
testpapertestreadingtesttesttestquizreadingreadingreadingquizpapertestquizreading........................................................................................................................................................................................................................oh and oh yeah....work...........
::sigh:: is it winter yet?
current mood:  overwhelmed
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
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8:54 pm
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Thanks to everyone who called/texted/Im'ed or otherwise contacted me to wish me a happy birthday!! Can you believe it? I made it to 20 despite the rashness and recklessness of my youth. Ah..there by the Grace of God I go, truly. :-)
Two WHOLE decades....it's almost frightening. haha
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Travis Tritt - It's a Great Day to Be Alive
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| Friday, September 9th, 2005
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11:48 pm
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12:38 am
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Just find me a hole..somebody...anybody.
current mood: exhausted
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
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11:12 pm - Red Sucks
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banddork13's journal
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